How honest communication improves relationships
What is honest authentic communication?
To share our thoughts in an honest manner without accusing anyone. Best done in I feel, I think, I want, I don’t want sentences [G1] and ask what they think? It includes also to observe how people are acting towards ourselves. Their words, what they say. Is it underlined with negativity or support? Is it only about them? Do they want to belittle us? Why?
In most cases what is „thrown at us, spoken to us, is mostly about the person doing so. It is about their emotions, their issues they face or have to deal with.
The more we come to respect and love ourselves, feel strong, authentic and secure, the more we can talk from a place of peace and acceptance of the other. To stand our ground peacefully yet firm and affirmative while considering what it is all about.
Relationships start to relax, even challenging ones. During a heaty, maybe accusing conversation which used to upset me, I have learned to stay calm, not to get angry and defensive anymore, actually sometimes rather sad yet magic starts to happen and whatever has come up, we find a way out, simply because I keep quite inside-out.
When there is no response but space given for the other person to speak out whatever is in their mind, somehow the other party is made to think and consider what it was all about and then the truth can be spoken which leads to understanding the feelings and where the other person stands.
People close to me come closer to my heart. We can listen now without defending ourselves from the beginning on and then even correct what we meant without getting angry or turn cold.
The moment people realize they are safe and no one is screaming at them and their thoughts, they are ready to open up.
It is an eye opener when people realize they can talk without riskingto be screamed at, accused and possibly belittled and corrected but simply accepted for whom they are. A new world of sharing, experiences, and understanding opens up. The real person, being able to drop the mask, is coming out to show the real beauty with all itsmany facets. A nourishing relation has emerged. That is the real gift.